Kerry Katona has bravely opened up about the “shame” she felt after falling pregnant from a rebound fling with a mystery man in the wake of her split from ex George Kay.
The former Atomic Kitten star, 42, said she felt “bewlidered and desparate” at the time and couldn’t face having an abortion but ended up having a miscarriage.
Speaking exclusively to OK! about why she had kept the heartbreaking pregnancy secret until now, she said: “I’ve never spoken about it because it makes me feel ashamed.
“I feel nothing but shame because I never connected with that baby.
“We went for scans and we found out it was a girl but I just knew it wasn’t right. I felt so disgusted in myself as I’m such a maternal person and I didn’t feel bad. But I didn’t want it.”
In her third autobiography, Kerry Katona: Whole Again, she told how she had tried to terminate the pregnancy herself early on by taking several morning after pills, which failed. But as the pregnancy progressed, the baby didn’t survive.
Writing in her book, she said: “I stayed in hospital for a couple of days until eventually there was no heartbeat any more. But the baby was still in my belly.
“The doctor said the dead foetus could stay in the womb up to three months before it would fall out naturally. Or I could have it removed before it got to that stage.”
She adds: “Essentially, I was on the verge of miscarrying, as that child had not survived. But I suppose technically, in the end, I did have a termination, as she was removed by a kind doctor.”
Kerry says the ordeal has put her off getting pregnant again – but she and fiancé Ryan Maloney, 34, are considering having their first child via surrogate.
She told OK!: “I’m not ruling out having more children. I definitely wouldn’t carry one but I’d definitely have a surrogate. In fact, I have a meeting soon to speak about my eggs. I want to freeze them. Nothing is set in stone. Ryan has to get his sperm checked and I have to see if I have enough eggs.”
Elsewhere, Kerry’s book details her suffering at the hands of her ex George, who died in 2019 at the age of 39 following a drug overdose.
Kerry, who married George in 2014, recalls how he would spit on her, strangle her and hit her while she was pregnant with their daughter Dylan-Jorge – and then tell her it was her fault.
Kerry is also mum to Molly, 21, and Lilly, 19, who she shares with Brian McFadden, and Heidi, 15, and Max, 14, from her marriage to Mark Croft.
Kerry Katona: Whole Again (Mirror Books) is available from 13 October.
If you are affected by any of the issues Kerry discusses here, support is available for domestic abuse at womensaid.org.uk, baby loss at tommys.org, drugs at talktofrank.com and mental health issues at mind.org.uk
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