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When I was around seventeen, I took an interest in Natural beauty. Naturally, I took up the hobby not only because I thought it would be cool to do since I wasnt much of a modeler, and I was mostly into painting models for my other hobby, which is an activity I rarely engage in anymore but mostly because I just loved seeing what other people were doing. To be quite honest, when I first started, I got a little carried away with my hobby and it took a toll on me in other ways rather than just on my health. I went from the natural way, to the overly artsy way to the overly sexy way. I think I may have even lost a bit of my natural charm. I started to see myself as a model rather than just a model-modeler and eventually I stopped just being a modeler and I started to be a model. As time has gone on, Ive been working on changing that. Ive been working to see me not as a model to be stared at, but to be looked at. My desire to change and my desire to be normal have been at odds with each other for a long time now. I can no longer look at myself in the mirror as a model anymore. I can no longer be a model any longer. Ive tried a number of ways to do this, but I just dont feel like Im getting there. Most of what I do to attempt to be a normal person is just going to come off as desperate. It is the worst title I think Ive ever had. What makes it worse than all other titles Ive always had is the fact that I spent so much time and energy on that title. It was my title of being the worst of all the titles I had. I want to be normal, because I know that being normal is what will make me happy. I am happy just having my body. I dont want to change, and I dont want my life or my body to change. I want my life to remain the same, but my body to change. I am tired of being the butt of all the jokes. I can change for the best, though not necessarily better than, if I make myself more attractive, if I get rid of my flaws, if I keep my natural charms and if I stay close to the person I love above all else.

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