A roundup for celebrities you may have forgotten had criminal pasts, along with …

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You are a little less impressed with the fact that one of them, a well-known comedian and writer called Martin Sheen, is also arrested. You see a TV news report describing him as a serial philanderer. When was the last time I ever saw Martin Sheen. The last time was in his trailer when we put together our special Love Actually. Oh, well he has no place on TV. But we have the results of the investigation, in which Martin Sheen was fingered as a pedophile, the writer explains. I know, but he is the star of a successful sitcom. And when a show like that is popular, the people are going to expect the people in charge of it to be decent, not just rich. Martin Sheens career will not be damaged by his arrest. You shrug it off and continue to your next task. How about that actor Tom Sizemore, arrested on charges of killing his wife and her lover. You are tired, even though you should be, because youve been doing this since the morning. Martin Sheen has been arrested for child molestation and other criminal activity. Tom Sizemore has been arrested for his wifes murder and sexual assault. Johnny Depp has been arrested for drunken driving. Kirsty Alley has been arrested for drunken driving. Martin Kiley has been arrested for drunken driving. Jim Carrey has been arrested for drunk driving and other crimes. Tom Cruise has been arrested for drunk driving. Richard Gere has been arrested for drunk driving and other crimes. John Travolta has been arrested for drunk driving and other crimes. Mel Gibson has been arrested for drunk driving and other crimes. Martin Landau has been arrested for drunk driving and other crimes. Michael Caine has been arrested for drunk driving and other crimes. Kirstie Alley has been arrested for drunk driving and other crimes. And Tom Sizemore has been arrested for drunk driving and other crimes. You have come this far; you are done with all the arrests. You are tired; you dont have anything further to do. You return to your daily routine of watching the news. You turn on the nightly news and watch a report on your arrests. You are not surprised to find out that all your arrests are.

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